34 And Peter said to him, “Aeneas, Jesus the Christ heals you. Arise and make your bed.” Then he arose immediately. 35 So all who dwelt at Lydda and Sharon saw him and turned to the Lord.Acts 9:34–35 (NKJV)
36 At Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha, which is translated Dorcas. This woman was full of good works and charitable deeds which she did. 37 But it happened in those days that she became sick and died. When they had washed her, they laid her in an upper room. 38 And since Lydda was near Joppa, and the disciples had heard that Peter was there, they sent two men to him, imploring him not to delay in coming to them. 39 Then Peter arose and went with them. When he had come, they brought him to the upper room. And all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments which Dorcas had made while she was with them. 40 But Peter put them all out, and knelt down and prayed. And turning to the body he said, “Tabitha, arise.” And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter she sat up. 41 Then he gave her his hand and lifted her up; and when he had called the saints and widows, he presented her alive. 42 And it became known throughout all Joppa, and many believed on the Lord.Acts 9:36–42 (NKJV)
In these two passages we find accounts of healing, but different responses for each. The people who needed healing received their healing, but what caught my eye was the people’s response. In Lydda, “all” the people who lived there turned to Jesus. While in Joppa only many believed. (not all)
I want to be a believer. It’s easy to read about healing and accept the notion that God heals. But to believe and turn to Jesus for what is needed at the moment is a very different thing in my mind. I believe I have taken the “safe” road in my theology of healing. I can believe, accept and rejoice that God healed in the Word. I can believe, accept and rejoice that God heals today through reading and hearing testimony to that. But the question that looms in my mind, can I believe that he will heal me personally. This is where my struggle is. My “issues” are a result of sin “in the planet.” (not a study here) Do I just accept my “lot” or do I dare to believe Jesus can and wants to heal me?
I want to be counted with the folks of Lydda. They all believed.
Lord, I confess that I have not done well in this regard. You know my usual response. I believe in You. I believe Your Word. I believe You still heal. Yet to be truthful, I have been stumbling on believing that you want or will heal me of the affects of sin “in the planet.” I waffle between thinking that my suffering is simply my “thorn in the flesh” that I must bear and something that I should take hold of and believe for complete healing. I recognize that there is a struggle for me in the spirit realm. The enemy of my soul wants to take me down rendering me useless to the kingdom. To this I resist and will stand against. I choose to believe you want me whole and are willing to make me whole. I surrender this struggle to You.